


Deactivation

by Casmopoop



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other, Short, Suicide, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 01:31:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16149725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casmopoop/pseuds/Casmopoop
Summary: You are a Guardian, you had enough.





	Deactivation

You are a Guardian. Soon enough you will not, not anymore.

You can remember the day you were…revivded, activated. You felt confused, disoriented, scared and for some reason angry; Angry at this creature that just bring you back to a world you just don’t want to be, angry at this position that you are now forced to follow. But you hold it; You hold all of it, for days, weeks, to months to years. And when they start noticing you weren’t at your best they tried to help you, reaching their hands to you, and for a moment you thought everything would change for the better that the void on your chest would just fill up or just dissapear. But it didn’t. It just grew bigger and bigger until you couldn’t hold it or hide it.

You tried to let everything go in a safe way, filling tour schedule with pleasant activities; reading, crochet, painting, traveling. But to not avail. So you just turn yourself to the other type. You were at the crucible every other day, first doing what you were supposed to do, then just plain standing until any other guardian eliminated you. It was addictive. And soon you were there everyday let yourself get shot, disappearing for a moment to wake up at the other.

Soon enough you were banned it from it. And so you turn yourself to other methods. In the silent of your room pressing the blade hard enough to make you bleed, or just multiple cuts here and there making strange but relieving patterns to you and when it was too much your Ghost would stop you, making the cuts and the blood disappear. He can sense you. He can see what are you trying to do. He tries his best, but you make yourself deaf to his pleas.

You are a Guardian. You observe your room, your little silver cage a last time, taking a small note of everything that it contains. Books, maps, guns, loot, empty bottles of either booze or medication, dirty clothes, unmade made. Nothing would stick with you after this.

You take a single pistol, with two bullets on the chamber. Because you know what you must do to be free.

You turn to your Ghost, you can see how worried, desperate and scared he is, hoovering in the same space, away from you.

“You can always go” You say"You can always find another one that its more worthy than I am"

But your Ghost stays quiet, adjusting his eye, looking at you and your gun, feeling the desperation that fills you up, drowing you. You know your Ghost could easily go to the Vanguard shouting for help. But would that help? Yoh would try,try and try again just like the other times. This is what you want, he can sense it. He can sense how tired, sad, hurt you are. “You sre my Guardian” he simply response. “Wherever you go I will follow”

…

You ride away from the city, from the tower, from everyone and anything. You chose a place, a type of meadow where you can still see the figure of the Traveler far away. You sit on a rock that has been warm from the sun, breathing slow and deep for its gonna be the last time you would do. It this the right decision? You do not know; Your mind its plague with black clouds of cruel words and your chest its so heavy you can barely breathe. Eternity its more of a punishment than a gift.

“You were wrong” You say to that big planet like figure in the distant.“You were wrong about me all this time; I can’t be what you want me to be, I can’t do what you want me to do. What you gave me its just a cruel twisted punishment” You can feel your tears running alongside your cheeks, cold. Your breathing getting fast, because even at this point you are still scared.

Your Ghost appears at your side. You look at him. So small and fragile, even at this moment you regret not buying him a pretty shell. He is ready when you are.

You breathe again and stand up from the rock, getting your gun out and pointing it directly at your Ghost, your hand tremble for a second.

“I’m sorry I never give you a name” you said before hitting the trigger. And just like that he is gone. He just a couple of metal scraps on the floor. You can feel how tour hearth shivers and brokes. The tears are overflowing now that you can barely see the figure of the Traveler. You put the cannon of your gun at the side of your head, its warm from the first shot. Your hand is steady. You pull the trigger.

You were a Guardian.


End file.
